go back

during the summer of 2025, i had a small health scare. as worrisome as it was for me, it wasn't a particularly huge issue and most of the doctors i'd seen were totally chill about it and told me that it'd fade with time. unfortunately, i generally always ready myself for the worst, which is obviously not great (and is something i'm trying really hard to work on doing less)! as a result, my mental health was also a bit shaky, as i was internally grappling with a lot of different thoughts and feelings.

around that time, my amazing friend bree asked what i'd like for my birthday in august. i asked for a build-a-bear snubbull, because the two of us had recently been reading about granbull and snubbull, and i always thought that build-a-bear snubbull was one of the cutest pokemon plushes ever. bree very generously bought me one, and she arrived to her new home just in time for my birthday. that snubbull instantly became a huge hit. my mom thought she was one of the cutest pokemon ever and even randomly bought two red ribbons for her lol. here's a picture of the snubbull all decked out:

anyway - for me, with anxiety tends to come restlessness, so my quality of sleep was generally not great for a few weeks of that summer. but when the snubbull got here, that changed. i was hugging her one night and somehow her soft, plushy fabric lulled me into the most restful sleep i'd had in weeks. it was incredible. around that time, i got a ct scan done and was really nervous about the results, particularly because i had to wait a few days before i could get them - but the snubbull somehow calmed me down and helped me with managing my stress. everything ended up being perfectly fine (YAY!!!), and, because of the solace that the snubbull plush gave me during that time, snubbull became one of my favourite pokemon of all time.

i named my plush snubbull 'jude' after st. jude, the patron saint of lost causes, whom i was praying to during everything. but i wanted to do more for snubbull somehow. i figured i could catch her in one of my pokemon games and have her exist in a digital forme as well. during that time, i was also working on completing the emerald pokedex so that i could rng hunt for a shiny totodile. i remembered that emerald version had snubbulls available in the safari zone during the post-game, and that it'd mean i could get all of the ribbons on one if i wanted. what better way was there to show the bond between jude the snubbull and me?

jude's title is the great friend.