name: carrion race: half-drow bhaalspawn gender: male age: 33 class: rogue/fighter subclass: thief/battle master

carrion is a half-drow elf. plagued with a case of severe amnesia, seemingly random urges to commit unspeakable acts of violence, and a mind flayer tadpole swimming around in his skull, he has a lot going on - and, for better or for worse, it takes him quite some time to piece together the person he once was.

still, when he first opened his eyes to his whole mess of problems, he knew the sort of person that he wanted to be. despite everything that the world - and his past - slings at him, he figures that he may as well keep on trying to be that sort of person.

carrion stands at 5'10" and has a slender frame. what he lacks in muscle he makes up for in dexterity; he is extremely quick on his feet and is very flexible, too. he has light grey skin with a lilac undertone, and his face is lightly freckled. during the events of bg3, his black hair is cropped short in a choppy haircut ("carrion feathers" being the in-game name was literal serendipity, haha) and he has a prominent burn scar that stretches diagonally across his face. his eyes are grey, and he has two spiked hoop earrings and a vertical eyebrow piercing. a rose design is tattooed on his neck.

carrion tends to gravitate towards black, red, gold, and silver clothes and armour, in what is almost definitely a lingering affection for what was once his typical bhaal cultist garb. (but he looks good in those sorts of colours, so it's fine.) his in-game armor set is the bhaalist armor, adorned with the deathstalker mantle dyed black & furnace red. he wears gloves of thievery on his hands along with disintegrating night walkers as his boots. his camp attire is the city of brass attire dyed black & furnace red, paired with pointed-toe shoes, also dyed black & furnace red.

carrion's sweet little face

carrion has been through a lot. it's impossible for him to tell where the urge ends and he begins. he has endured many traumatic, transformative experiences and has the physical and mental scars to prove it. the events leading up to his amnesia were like a hammer to the person he was before (cold, cruel, confident, merciless, and a lot more powerful) and he's still struggling to piece the leftover fragments together into... something. he's a mess of paradoxes - being both overly restrained and overly impulsive. but he tries his best - and truly so. he works incredibly hard to keep his volatile nature in check and desperately wants to protect the innocent... even if he can't completely deny his ruthless bloodthirstiness.

the lone thread linking his past self and his current self is likely his loyalty - initially, to bhaal. now, to his companions. he is alarmingly clever and has a true mind for tactics, though he'd always prefer to be a knife in the dark rather than a captain leading a charge.

the dark urge is a relatively established character in bg3, and i wanted carrion's backstory to have its own flair while still being mostly canon compliant. in my opinion, there's a lot of wiggle room, so i had fun putting my own spin on the dark urge's narrative for carrion's story. with that said, there are spoilers for the dark urge plotline in this section! for the canonical overview of the dark urge's origins, you can check out this page on the bg3 wiki.

carrion was created by bhaal, the god of murder - formed from a piece of his dead flesh. a violent compulsion to kill was woven into his blood from the onset of his creation; this compulsion being known as the dark urge. the urge essentially guaranteed that carrion would commit acts of unspeakable violence in honor of his father.

but, for a time, the urge simply watched him.

carrion was found as an apparent newborn in baldur’s gate by an elven couple who ran a butchery. they lived in the lower city, with their place of business attached to their living quarters (albeit seperated by a door). carrion's foster mother, syllia, was a very sickly woman - unable to bear a child despite desperately wishing to be a mother. (as a child, she had a very strained relationship with her own mother and she desperately wished to give a child the maternal affection that she was denied.) his foster father, venran, did not feel as strongly about having a child and took great pride in the home and business that he and his wife managed to build. when the two found carrion wrapped up in an oddly ornate basket on their doorstep, they tried to find his guardians but had no success in doing so. assuming that the newborn was abandoned, they took him in - viewing the encounter as a gift from the gods. naturally, they didn’t give carrion his macabre name. they gave him the name 'elluin'.

elluin grew to be a very quiet child. he wasn't interested in befriending other baldurian children, instead keeping to himself and finding amusement in solitary activities. in particular, he took a notable interest in his parents' butchery, observing them as they did their work almost obsessively. he had a solid grasp on the basics of butchering meat at an alarmingly young age and, under strict parental supervision, could execute common cuts of meat with a strangely high degree of skill. at first, this wasn’t a huge cause for concern for syllia or venran; in fact, it only further solidified his role as their miracle child with a natural proclivity for the family business. soon, this changed. when he was around eight years old, deeply macabre night terrors began swarming elluin's sleep every single night. his parents attributed them to his early exposure to raw meat and blood and regretted giving him too much of an active role in the business despite his talents. this devastated elluin, as he only really felt comfortable when he was in the butchery. he was only permitted in the butchery again when he successfully convinced syllia and venran that the nightmares stopped. naturally, he was lying: the nightmares never left him, nor did they even lessen in their intensity. elluin just gradually managed to desensitize himself to them. regardless, he was happy to keep up the ruse, as he genuinely enjoyed butchery and wished to help his parents.

years went by peacefully - until, one day, syllia found out that she was pregnant. syllia and venran were overjoyed; again, a miracle was bestowed upon them. the problem unbeknowsnt to them was that it was not a miracle from a benevolent god. the god of murder had come to provide his spawn with his first test. 13 years old at the time, elluin became deeply bitter. he was supposed to be the gift from the gods. he was the miracle. he stewed in this negativity despite his foster parents' combined efforts to reassure him that they loved him dearly, a darkness clouding over his perception of them. the urge had finally seeped forth from elluin's nightmares and into his waking world. its whispers reminded him of his inferiority, of his abandonment - and it warned him that it was only a matter of time before he was discarded again, just as he was all those years ago. it convinced him that his so-called "parents" had committed the ultimate slight against him by even humoring another child. syllia and venran had doomed elluin to a life of insignificance. they'd trap him in that house and ruin him; they'd use him for his talent in the family business and leave him an empty, unloved husk. there was only one path forward: that of blood.

and so elluin made them bleed. he murdered his foster parents, executing them quietly with a stolen meat cleaver while they slept. days later, when members of the flaming fist broke down the doorway to the house and found the butchers' bodies, they'd see the couple side-by-side in a bloodsoaked bed with two slit throats and an otherwise undisturbed home.

elluin fled that night, descending into the sewers beneath the city in order to hide. the horror of what he'd done quickly settled in - but when he considered turning himself in, he was assailed by an excruciating migraine, so painful and intense that it knocked him out. by the time he woke up, elluin had a raging fever and no idea how long he was unconcious for. even though he survived the ordeal, every time he felt shameful over his murderous actions, more of those terrible headaches stabbed past his skull. eventually, it was simply easier to ignore remorse. moreover, elluin came to realise that a part of him genuinely enjoyed exacting vengeance on his family. under the urge's encouragement, this part of him grew and grew - to the point that he began to feel sheer ecstacy whenever he remembered the vengeance he exacted on the two who sought to condemn him.

elluin's peaceful childhood warped into one of scavenging in filth. armed with nothing but the stolen cleaver, he carved out a violent living in the sewers, preying on animals and people alike. the skills that were honed in his foster parents' butchery came in handy, particularly when paired with his seemingly natural murderous talents. he found great solace when the frantic struggles of life were silenced by his blade. one or two rumors about some sort of strange, deadly creature dwelling in the sewers drifted around baldur's gate, but they weren't taken very seriously. everyone knew that the sewers beneath the city were dangerous, though very few knew just how dangerous - with or without elluin. two years later, bhaal presented another test to his son.

elluin was approached by a group of bhaalist cultists who immediately attacked him. unlike most of his previous targets, these people were relatively skilled assassins, and elluin barely managed to put them down. the fight was brutal and messy, and, as elluin bled out on the mucky sewer floor, sceleritas fel approached him.

"well, well," the fiend said. "aren't you a sweet little pile of carrion?"

that night, elluin finally joined his foster family in death. carrion took his place.

carrion was taken in by the cult of bhaal, which obviously had values that perfectly aligned with that of the urge. it made giving into its commands all the more satisfying. carrion's skill in combat only increased over the years, and he grew to be a terrific assassin - the best that the cult had to offer. with this success came accolades. he gained the epithet ‘carrion the carver’ due to his weapon of choice and rose to the head of the cult, becoming its leader. it was only when he was its leader that sceleritas informed him that his father was, in fact, bhaal; that carrion was created by bhaal specifically to enact his will, and that the dark urge was always meant to be his reliable guide. carrion was greatly pleased by this. his lingering, warped perception regarding the ‘rejection’ by his foster parents fed into it in a very obvious way. he truly did live a divine existence, and he was hellsbent on devoting his life to exacting his father’s will. as per the god of murder’s ultimate wish, this meant ending all life in existence.

carrion’s years as the leader of the cult were marked by extreme violence. no target was off-limits to him, no task too brutal. bhaal’s forces grew under his leadership, and his word was law to those under him. anyone who challenged him got carved down instantly. there was but one exception to this: another bhaalspawn. even though her link to bhaal was far less pure than carrion’s, orin the red was still carrion's sister. she yearned for bhaal’s approval, and meeting her brought back carrion’s anxieties surrounding his unborn sibling from his childhood. carrion would sooner die than lose his standing with bhaal to her and took a twisted delight in being their father’s favourite.

still, orin had an undeniable talent for slaughter, and she remained carrion’s second-in-command. the key difference between the siblings was that carrion was infinitely more methodical in his approach to the cult’s targets, killing methodically and en masse. there was a cold streak in him that orin completely lacked. his sister had fun with it, ‘playing with her food’ in a manner that displeased their father and most of the more traditional bhaalists. the two constantly baited and antagonised each other, intentionally poking and prodding at their respective weak spots and bringing out the worst in each other. they had a handful of amiable moments, but they were few and far between.

by the time carrion was in his late 20s, he knew that he had to ramp up his efforts if he wanted to exterminate all life as per bhaal's wishes. petty assassination contracts simply wouldn't amount to anything. he formed a connection with enver gortash - an ambitious baldurian lord with an impressive amount of connections. with carrion as the chosen of bhaal (the god of murder) and gortash as the chosen of bane (the god of tyranny), the two of them realised that their goals aligned in particular ways and began conspiring together. their closeness resulted in an intensely intimate relationship, with carrion enjoying gortash's seemingly unparalleled intelligence and pragmaticism. at times, they even shared a bedchamber - but carrion always planned on betraying gortash eventually and fantasized over being the one to tear him apart.

it would be a while before such a thing could be acted upon, however. the two were instructed by their gods to join forces with the chosen of myrkul (the god of death): ketheric thorm. ketheric was located in the shadowcursed lands' moonrise towers, and carrion and gortash planned to visit him in order to solidify their alliance. before departing baldur's gate, carrion and gortash spent years concocting an extremely complex heist wherein they stole the crown of karsus (a powerful artifact that could grant its wearer godlike power) from mephistopheles the archdevil, whom had stored it away in a vault within the eighth layer of the nine hells. bringing it back into faerûn was no small feat: even with his expertise in stealth, it was the greatest challenge that carrion had ever faced. their efforts weren't for naught, and the heist ended up being a successful one. gortash put forth the idea that they should use the crown on the elder brain that dwelled in the illithid colony beneath ketheric's moonrise towers. this would, in turn, enslave it to their will and make it theirs to command. carrion agreed to this, with his goal being to create an army of mind flayers that could exterminate all life. with gortash, he moved for moonrise towers.

ketheric joined in on their plan, and the three chosen amassed their forces at moonrise towers. carrion enjoyed extremely high status during his time there and was essentially treated like a god. when their army was sufficiently prepared, they marched on the mind flayer colony. much like the heist, it was a successful battle, with carrion being the one to place the crown on the elder brain. the elder brain actually did not resent him for this - rather, it was impressed by his cruelty, which it viewed as unmatched by any other. it decided to go along with his plan.

while carrion spent so much time scheming with the other chosen, orin plotted against him. ever-resentful of being second in the eyes of their father, orin sought to make the would-be tyrant into nothing but a pawn. she took advantage of her brother's diverted attention and attacked him immediately after the elder brain was crowned. she chiselled into his skull, infecting him with a mind flayer tadpole that she stole away during their time fighting within the colony. the tadpole began to eat away at carrion's brain, inflicting a catastrophic degree of screaming pain on every part of his body as he presumably began to turn into a mindless mind flayer via ceremorphosis. before all went dark, his sister's smile was the last thing carrion saw. orin left his "corpse" behind in the mind flayer colony, gleefully stepping into her new role as bhaal's favoured child.

for reasons unknown at the time, carrion resisted the tadpole's influence. he was still profoundly impacted by it, as his brain was damaged and his memories began to get eaten by the aberration. moreover, the tadpole wasn't the only thing threatening his life: orin had literally slashed his skull open. kressa bonedaughter, a myrkul cultist residing in the mind flayer colony, found him on the very verge of death. since carrion was - ironically - the first victim of tadpoling, kressa was fascinated by him and secretly stole him away. she saved his life so that she could run an assortment of necrotic experiments on him.

even though carrion resisted the elder brain's influence, he was still severely psychologically compromised. unable to do anything but lash out, he knew nothing but violence and repeatedly tried to attack himself as well as others in an attempt to escape from the illithid colony. (it was during one such escape attempt that another cultist almost burnt his face off - much to the ire of kressa, who proceeded to kill them for defacing her "beloved pet".) carrion's long black hair, typically kept in a tightly-wound braid, was shorn off in an uneven, messy cut, and his body was marred with a plethora of scars thanks to the countless surgeries that kressa conducted on him. in a matter of days, he scarcely resembled carrion the cleaver.

kressa's husband was a fellow cultist, and he quickly grew fed up with his wife's obsession with carrion. he arranged with another necromancer - balthazar - to send carrion away from the colony and onto a nautiloid ship, where he would supposedly be properly indoctrinated and made into a thrall for the very army that carrion wished to form as the leader of the cult of bhaal. also annoyed with kressa's obsession, balthazar went along with this scheme, and carrion was ensnared in a mind flayer pod.

but carrion would never become a member of the elder brain's army; he would never become a pawn to any individual chosen by any god. the nautiloid - filled with various cultists and mind flayers who stole away people from various worlds in order to infect them with tadpoles of their own - was attacked during its flight, and the damages it sustained resulted in the mind flayer pod's security becoming compromised. carrion was freed.

crawling out of the pod, carrion could remember nothing but his name. his past and the atrocities that he committed were completely wiped from his mind, and the strange voice that tried to command him to commit unspeakable acts of violence was as much of a mystery as it was a hinderance. resisting it was difficult, but carrion had somehow had gained the mental fortitude in order to do so. the reason for this remains unclear: it may have been due to the tadpole and the experiments that ravaged his brain, or an increased resilience due to the urge’s metaphorical roots from his childhood being shorn off. either way, carrion the cleaver was no more. even his personality was warped, with the cool, cruel indifference of the cult leader being replaced with a quiet meekness reminiscent of elluin. he stumbled forth, seeking answers as well as a means of removing the tadpole planted in his head.

one day i might flesh this section out on an act-by-act basis, but the essence of carrion’s personal growth throughout the course of bg3’s plot is that he tried his utmost to resist the dark urge and did his best to help those in need. he could not do it alone; he made companions soon after escaping the nautiloid and met even more through the course of his journey. naturally, this newfound conscience angered bhaal greatly. while carrion tried to keep the dark urge a secret, his companions knew that he struggled with violent thoughts that he worked hard against acting upon - because, frankly… despite his objectively heroic deeds in aiding the inhabitants of the emerald grove (particularly the refugees) and in dispelling the shadow curse from reithwin… carrion was prone to saying Extremely Macabre Shit very, very often and was positively brutal in combat. the goblin camp was pretty much just littered with various limbs by the time he was through with it. (during his time there, he also may or may not have partaken in some roasted dwarf.) his acts of resistance were also not always successful: for example, he murdered an innocent bard named quil while in a fugue state and was deeply traumatized by his actions the following morning.

another truly gripping compulsion occurred during his time in reithwin, when the urge - frustrated by carrion's refusal to live in accordance to bhaal's teachings - commanded him to kill the person dearest to him: gale dekarios. carrion managed to resist this urge by waking up gale, confessing everything to him. gale aided carrion by tying him down and tried to soothe him through this tumultuous night, which grew so terrible that carrion eventually could only ‘speak’ in garbled, horrific screams and threats that he did not mean. much like when he was a child in the sewers of baldur’s gate, the pain was so much to bear that he eventually broke into a fever and fainted. though rattled, gale was resolved to aid carrion in discovering the source of his urges and offered him unconditional support, strengthening the romantic bond that they already shared.

eventually, carrion got his answers as to the urge’s source when learnt that he was a bhaalspawn upon his return to baldur’s gate. he confessed this to each of his companions, and they all had their reasons to support him in working against the commands of his blood.

(to be continued when i finish this playthrough YIPPEE)